Getting married under a pagoda? Here’s some thoughts.
This occurred to me the other day whilst walking around the grounds at a wedding venue in the Northamptonshire countryside. The already beautiful barn has added an outdoor area to hold your ceremony which not only means you can have more guests, but you can also get married in the great outdoors! Well…under a canopy, but that’s the law in the UK.
Anyway, pagodas.
This applies to all wedding venues I’ve seen by the way.
Wedding venues lay out the chairs on the lawn, and they look fab, aisle all pristine, a fresh emerald carpet of grass, adorned with flower petals, gorgeous.
You have to get married under a solid canopy, that’s the law in the UK.
But what happens is, you end up in the pagoda as a couple, with the next closest people being the two registrars (there’s always two) and me. All of us relative strangers, and we are the closest to you at a very significant moment. Your nearest and dearest are sat down on the lawn, about ten feet away, probably more.
Throw a wedding video person in there too and you’re outnumbered 2:1.
My question is, why does this happen?
Wouldn’t it make more sense to have some chairs under the pagoda too so you can have your crew within touching distance, in the moment, feeling it with you. Then have the rows of guests right up close to the structure as well to make it a much more intimate affair, even though it’s outdoors?
Weddings are incredibly intimate events, but sometimes the ceremony can feel like a spectator sport. Guests cut off from the action. The best weddings I’ve ever been too are where guests are in the mix, up close and personal, living it with you. Its much more intense and feels more connected to those around you.
There is a venue where the pagoda is on the other side of a moat. I forget the name. Whilst it looks great in pictures, it feels cut off from your guests. People are what make events. Weddings aren’t just about the couple, they are a celebration of all of your most intimate relationships. A celebration of everyone who has supported you on your journey. Having them surround you as you celebrate your love for one another seems logical.
Question why the venue has set up the chairs, question what the registrar says. Unless its law, it can be changed.
You are paying customers. Getting married isn’t free, even if you go to the registry office and nothing else, there is still a fee involved.
I’m not inciting anarchy, only to not be afraid to challenge the norms. If you’re paying for it, make sure it delivers on what you really want, even if it is a formal event.
So that’s my thoughts on Pagoda’s, hopefully you found it useful. The other typical venue of choice is a church wedding. Getting married in a church? Read this.