Chinese Wedding Tradition: A Deep Dive into the Tea Ceremony

As a chinese wedding photographer, I’m lucky enough to capture a myriad of beautiful traditions from diverse cultures. One such tradition that’s close to my heart is the Chinese Tea Ceremony – a symbolic, intimate, and emotionally rich event that always makes for beautiful photos.

The Essence of the Tea Ceremony

The Chinese tea ceremony, known as “gongfu cha” or “jia bei”, is one of the most significant traditions in a Chinese wedding. Rooted in Confucian philosophy and signifying respect and gratitude, it is a ritual where the couple expresses their filial piety by serving tea to their parents, in-laws, and elders, thus acknowledging the families’ merging and the existing and new familial bonds.

Preparation: Setting the Stage for Respect

Preparation for the tea ceremony is an art in itself. The tea set, usually a gift from the bride’s family, is carefully chosen. The tea, often a sweet variety like longan and red date tea, symbolises sweetness in the couple’s life. I often capture these quiet moments of preparation, the carefully arranged tea set, the bride and groom in their beautiful traditional attire, preparing to embark on this significant tradition.

Conducting the Ceremony: A Dance of Respect and Unity

The ceremony begins with the couple serving tea to the groom’s parents and relatives, followed by the bride’s family. As they kneel and serve tea to their elders, the room fills with respect and humility, a photographer’s delight. Each interaction, the elders’ blessing, the exchange of the red envelope (“hongbao”) with money or jewellery, the laughter, and sometimes, emotional tears, are all heartfelt moments that I strive to encapsulate in my photos.

Symbolism: Beyond the Sip of Tea

There is a depth of symbolism in a Chinese tea ceremony that goes beyond the act of sipping tea. The respect shown by the couple towards their elders, the acceptance and blessings given by the elders, the unity of two families – all these are symbolised in this age-old tradition. As a wedding photographer, my aim is to capture this symbolism and the emotions that accompany it, resulting in photos that the couple and their families can cherish for a lifetime.

What Is the Chinese Tea Ceremony?

The tea ceremony takes place on the wedding day itself and is always wonderful to photograph. The bride and groom kneel in front of their parents and take it in turns to offer them tea. Typically the parents will go first, followed by the grandparents and then any other family members the couple wish to pay respects to.

The history of the tea ceremony

Who am I to give a history lesson on tea? I’ll need help for this one.
My research suggests the tea ceremony goes as far back as 618, which cements it’s significance as a time honoured tradition. Chinese writer Ying Lang writes “The tea plant cannot be transplanted, and after transplantation, it shall not live…When a woman marries and brings tea as part of her dowry, we see she is loyal to one”. This gives us an insight into the significance of tea, as the plant cannot be transplanted, so in drinking the tea, the bride commits herself completely to the marriage. Although the connotations of death lie in this metaphor, which is a bit dark if taken literally, the same words exist in Christian ceremonies where both commit to the saying ’til death do us part’. Modern tea ceremonies are much more about welcoming each others families and paying respects to elders by saying ‘I will honour you by serving you’.

Where does the tea ceremony take place?

Traditionally the tea ceremony would take place at the couples respective homes. However, as modern couples choose to incorporate this time honoured tradition into a wedding that follows more of a modern format, it can really take place anywhere. If the groom has turned up to the brides house and completed door games to gain entrance, it makes sense logistically to then have the tea ceremony at the brides house. However, I have seen it conducted at the wedding venue, and even after the wedding ceremony itself during the drinks reception.

What do the couple wear?

The bride wears traditional wedding garments of red and gold, and is then adorned with further gifts of gold. The groom can also wear traditional robes if he chooses, however wearing a suit is also acceptable in modern fusion weddings.

Who attends the tea ceremony?

The couple, their parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles are typically all involved, however it’s not a closed ceremony, this normally occurs in front of all the attendees. The bridal party are usually in the background and often one of the bridesmaids, aunties, or at least honorary aunties are in charge of serving the tea.

Which tea is served?

Personal preference dictates here, you can choose whichever is a firm favourite, or whichever will be most palatable to those who are drinking it. Lily, lotus seeds and red dates can be added as these signify luck.

Does the couple have to kneel?

Kneeling is a sign of respect, some choose to kneel and bow so their head touches the floor as a sign of respect. Always kneel when serving the tea and do so with two hands.

What happens after the tea ceremony?

After drinking the tea and handing back the cup the elders will typically offer the couple some wise words and hand over a red envelop containing money as a symbol of luck and good fortune. This is then when the grooms family adorn the bride with gold, typically bangles and necklaces, which she must put on right away as a sign of thanks and respect.

I am by no means an expert, but I’ve been to a few Chinese weddings and seen the tea ceremony take place in many different locations, and at many different times of the wedding day. However they have all followed the same basic structure. If you’ve never been to a Chinese wedding, hopefully the above guide will let you know what to expect!

Final Reflections: More than Just a Tradition

To me, the Chinese Tea Ceremony is more than just a tradition. It is a testament to the importance of family in Chinese culture, an expression of respect, and an intimate moment of unity. It’s these deeply personal and cultural moments that make my work as a wedding photographer so fulfilling. With every click, I aim to capture the depth, beauty, and emotion of this beautiful tradition, preserving these precious moments in time. One of the most significant traditions of Chinese weddings is the tea ceremony. Many Chinese wedding traditions exist, such as the passing of trials known as wedding door games, which is always a treat for any photographer, however this one has been embraced more than most in the fusion wedding world, and even those who are of Chinese descent but born in the UK still choose to honour their heritage and their parents by having a tea ceremony, just like Kit & Jen did. The premise of the tea ceremony is for the newlywedded couple to show their respect to their parents and close family relatives by asking them to drink tea, in return the parents show their acceptance of the union by drinking said tea.