The Tisch – A traditional pre wedding ceremony event
Always fun for any Jewish wedding photographer to capture, whilst a traditional activity to take place before the wedding ceremony, it can take whatever form you wish. Typically it is a time for much merriment, drinking of whiskey, singing and chanting. However I have seen Grooms who are teetotal opt to keep it enthusiastic, but without the drink. If however, you are keen on a wee dram of whiskey (or other hard spirit of your choosing) then expect the Tisch to be a raucous affair. All of the men gather round a huge table, drink, sing, pray and dance! The whole activity gets the heart pumping and prepares the Groom for all the excitement to come as he gets ready for the veiling ceremony, known as the Badeken.
The Tisch is ultimately entirely optional, some grooms prefer to simply be stood near the entrance of the venue and greet guests as they enter. Weddings, whilst steeped in tradition, have firmly moved into the modern era and as such should represent the couple, I don’t believe anyone should be forced into something that is truly not them for the sake of keeping up appearances. It’s your day, conduct it your way.
The word Tisch translates to English as Table. The layout of the room is very simple, a huge table in the middle, full of drink and sometimes food.
As a Jewish man entering into a marriage contract with his new bride, there are certain responsibilities and obligations he must acknowledge and accept before the ceremony can take place. During the Tisch, the Rabbi will read through the marriage certificate called the Ketubah. The Rabbi and the witnesses then sign the ketubah before the ceremony. As a photographer, you have to be on your toes for the next bit, as the groom will then hold an object aloft to acknowledge that he accepts the terms and accepts the contract, and that he will proceed to the Chuppah and get married. The item is symbolic and can vary, but it’s a significant moment, so you need to be paying attention as you wouldn’t want to miss it!
For the uninitiated, think of the Tisch as a mini stag do right before the wedding. You won’t be getting drunk mind, but it’s essentially a one last boys only hurrah before the wedding. The tempo changes rapidly, from upbeat to reflective, and jolly to mournful as respects are paid and tradition honoured. As the weather in the UK is so unpredictable, expect the Tisch to be held indoors, but you are free to host it wherever you like. As the Tisch wraps up, the intensity builds and reaches fever pitch as the men take the groom to the Badeken. It may be just close family and friends who escort the groom, it may be every man at the wedding, expect lots of clapping and singing and rejoicing as they send their groom off to be wed!
This article is a part of a series outlining the traditions and ceremonies involved in Jewish weddings, my other articles on the Hora, breaking the glass and a look at a real military Jewish fusion wedding are all available for your delectation.